**House rules

Transformational Living Ministries (TLM)

House Rules

This booklet explains the rules and expectations for residents while living at the TLM House. TLM is a
Christ centered sober living environment that is intended to be a step on the path to independent
living and recovery. TLM is a sober living house for those serious about recovery.

The first 2 weeks a resident is on contract as a new resident. During this time, they are on restriction.
They are only allowed to leave the house for: Recovery meetings,appointments, looking for work (or working) and


They must find a sponsor within this 2-week period if they do not have one. To get off contract: they must have a sponsor and have steady work. If either of these conditions are not met, they will stay on new resident contract after the initial two weeks until these conditions fulfilled.

New residents are not eligible for passes until they have been in the house for 30 days and not on
contract. After they become eligible, they are allowed one 48 hour and one 24 hour pass each calendar month they cannot be combined. Passes must be requested the Sunday before they are going to be taken. The resident must attend the Sunday, Monday and Wed. meetings even while on a pass. Exceptions are only through permission from the Director or Associate Director. 

 Newcomer Contract – This contract is used for newcomers to adjust to their new environment.
Typically, this contract will consist of:
- Three (3) recovery meetings a week.
- 10:00 pm curfew Monday through Sunday.
- Guest curfew is 8:00 pm Sunday- Thursday. 9:00 pm Friday and Saturday with no
- Chores are done by 10:00 pm daily depending on chore detail.
- Must obtain a sponsor within 14 days of Move-in.
- Job Search 8:00 am -12pm Monday through Friday. ( can be adjusted with managers approval)

 Residents are required to work unless they are on disability, if on disability they must fill their time with volunteer activities.  If you have another source of income (i.e., SSI), you MUST do service work, community service throughout the week. You cannot hang out at the House all day, every day. This is about changing behavior.

Jobs must allow residents to fulfill their house obligations and participate in all required meetings and community service. First Shift only positions.

No new member will be accepted if they are prescribed narcotics (i.e. suboxone, methadone, Vicodin,







Core Rules 

These Rules are critical to the functioning of our House.

* No Guests can stay over night without permission from the Director or Assoc. Director Violation of this is an automatic expulsion. 
• No weapons of any kind are allowed on the property. No guns, knives or any other weapons are
  permitted. Grounds for immediate removal from the Program.
• No alcohol/drugs – Grounds for immediate removal from the Program.
• No violence or threats – Grounds for immediate removal from the Program.
• No stealing – Grounds for immediate removal from the Program.

• No gang activity – Grounds for immediate removal from the Program.

• No outsiders in the House w/o group approval (make it known when there is company in the house).
• No gambling
• No pornography
• Follow curfew
• Respect one another/be mindful of your roommates
• No smoking or tobacco products in the House (smoke in designated areas only)
• No isolation (being in room excessively w/o sickness)
• No staying away from the House excessively (using the House as a place where you just lay your head and hold your personal belongings.) No excessive absence from the house.
• Residents are encouraged to not have relationships with the opposite sex in the first year of sobriety. However, if this suggestion is not followed, they are not allowed to see their companions more than twice per week. This is to ensure the integrity of the house and the need to focus on recovery.

Confidentiality is a MUST. Do not discuss the House with the neighbors. Under no circumstances shall any information regarding a resident or past resident be given out over the
phone or outside of the house. The only reason information would be given out is because the resident past/present gave approval. Confidentiality of other residents is of primary importance – consider others.


Additional House Rules

These rules apply to everyone and must be followed by all house members. Failure to do so can and
will result in a disruptive contract or expulsion from the program if they are not corrected.

• Attend required House meetings (i.e., business, emergency and weekly business meetings all defined in Section 27).
• Attend at least three Outside recovery meetings a week. o In house meetings do not count. (Three if on newcomer contract). Resident MUST CHECK IN ON ONESTEP APP.
(KEEP TRACK OF YOUR MEETINGS on a meeting sheet if you don't have a phone.)
•Maintain a sponsor at all times. (This cannot be a current TLM resident).
• Maintain your personal hygiene and personal space.
• No candles or incense in the House.
• Shower daily. Wash sheets weekly.
• Notify House members regarding any medications you are taking. (You are responsible for the safe
 keeping of your medications).
• No pets of any kind.
• Complete House chores daily by 10:00 pm if you are not working or on the morning chore. 
• All residents will attend at least 3 scheduled service events per month, if more are scheduled residents will give a week’s notice if they cannot attend. “Testimony” events are mandatory. Any exceptions must be approved by the Director.


Drug Testing

Everyone in the House will be subject to drug testing/breathalyzers on request. These tests will be random or if drug/alcohol is suspected by the other House members. Failure to give a test within thirty minutes of a request, will result in immediate discharge from the House.
When asked to take a test, the member must stay in the presence of a House member. Bringing alcohol or drugs in the House will result in immediate eviction.
In the event of a relapse and the definition of relapse can come in different forms – the easiest one to deal with is the “for sure” relapse when a member comes in the House obviously intoxicated or high on drugs and admits relapse. At that point there is no denial to deal with, the other members have the time to concentrate on getting help for this resident. However, there are more difficult types of relapses. Many relapses can only be discerned by looking at the behavior change: late payment of rent, lapse in doing chores, argumentative or isolating behaviors. These are all warning signs of a relapse. Remember to keep principles above personalities and think with your head and not your heart. Another form of relapse is misusing prescription or over the counter drugs. Over the counter or prescription drugs must be taken according to the directions and residents who are using prescriptions must inform the doctor of their addict status.
Another form of relapse is when a member is using, and others know about it and do not blow the whistle. In these cases, all who are using and all who knew about it are considered a relapse.

If a resident relapses they need to leave the program immediately and enter into treatment and remain sober during this time to return to the house.



Residents must be in the House and accounted for no later than these times, except for verified employment.
If you work past curfew, you MUST report in after your shift is completed. While on contract, curfew is 10:00 pm Monday through Sunday. Curfew for members off Contract are Sunday through
Thursday 10:00 pm and Friday and Saturday. 11:00 pm. In the House means, “in the House,” not in the driveway, not outside the door running through it.

TLM Curfew
             On Contract                                      Off Contract
Sunday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                     10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Monday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                     10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Tuesday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                    10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Wednesday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM               10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Thursday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                  10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Friday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                       11:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Saturday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                   11:00 PM – 6:00 AM


It is against House policy to have a separate lock on your room. No resident is allowed in another resident’s room without that resident’s permission. If a resident must go into another resident’s room for House business, he must be accompanied by another House member.


There is to be no food or beverages in bedrooms! TLM will provide basic essential for meals.  If you would like to purchase extra you will be given space to store your supply of food, and you can use the common refrigerator and freezer. Disputes over food should be brought to the house manager's attention. Please be respectful of other’s food. Don’t eat what isn’t yours, it is considered stealing, and it is disruptive.


You are responsible for any valuables brought into the house. Concerns over lost or stolen property should be brought immediately to the House manager. . TLM is not responsible for loss of personal belongings. You are responsible to keep your own belongings safe. 


Personal Belongings

You have limited space, so please keep your personal belongings to a minimum. Clothing and personal items that do not fit in your room may be kept downstairs and/or sent home. Be mindful of your roommates, they also pay rent. Do not turn your shared bedroom into a one-man studio. Each resident gets equal amount of room while sharing a bedroom.
You do not have the right to go through boxes or other containers that are stored in the garage or
basement of the House unless a group decision is made to sort and donate items left at the House by previous tenants. If you leave the house or removed from the house you have 15 days to get all your belongings. If after the 15 days director will collect your belongings and dontate items.


Dress Code & Hygiene Guidelines

• Shirts with drugs, alcohol, bars, criminals, or other demeaning slogans are not to be worn at any time.
• As a matter of health and safety, residents must always wear foot protection while on the premises.
• Personal Hygiene is always expected. That means shower daily.
• Sheets are to be washed weekly.

House Chores

Chores for each house member will include clean-up, garbage removal, cleaning of floors, bathrooms, kitchen, laundry room and other areas as designated by the director.  Chores are assigned to individuals and are to be done by that individual member of the House. Occasionally, there are times when another individual can do the chore of another individual (Remember that “Occasionally” does not mean: every chore day, every other chore day or every other week). It is about changing behavior and not staying the same.

Bedroom Responsibilities

* No food or beverages are allowed in bedrooms!
• Beds must be made, and rooms must be cleaned before leaving the House.
• No smoking is allowed in the bedroom at any time.
• Never hang towels or clothing from lamps or light fixtures.
• Never use tacks or nails on the walls.
• Radios are to be listened to at a reasonable volume.
• Turn off lights, radios and/or TVs when leaving the room.

Bathroom Area Responsibilities

• All bathroom areas, sinks, counter tops and toilets must be cleaned immediately after each use.
• Paper towels are not to be disposed of in the toilet.
• Use daily SHOWER CLEANER after each shower and rinse down shower after each shower. Be
mindful of your roommates.
• Clean up after showering. Do not leave towels, clothes, or toiletries in the bathroom after each use.


Laundry Room Responsibilities

• Clothing must be removed from washers and dryers immediately after each use.
• Lint traps are to be cleaned after each use to avoid a potential hazard.
• Washers and dryers need to be wiped down after each use.
• Ironing boards and irons must be returned to its storage space after each use.

Kitchen Responsibilities

• Dishes are to be WASHED, DRIED AND PUT AWAY AFTER EACH USE. Do not leave your dishes to
hang out in the sink or on the counter tops.
• Wipe down sink, stove, and countertop after each use.
• All resident’s food must be stored in their designated space.
• Do a check of YOUR space weekly and discard any food that is no longer able to be used. If canned
foods are not to be used by a resident, food can be donated to the House pantry.

Disruptive Behavior Guidelines

It is the mission of TLM to ensure a “safe haven” for recovery. The primary source for ensuring a
safe haven for recovery is by enforcing the importance of living up to TLM principles.

General Rules of Expulsion

o   Any negative behavior inside the House
Any negative behavior outside the House

o   Violence or threats of violence

o   Destruction of property

o   Members who relapse or refuse to pay program fees or are guilty of disruptive behavior, must be expelled as quickly as the Director deems appropriate .

 In the case of behavioral problems, the House institutes systems of warnings, probations, or disruptive contracts.

• If there are repeated behavioral offenses and the Director, deems the behavioral
acts of the member to be detrimental to recovery in TLM tradition, then dismissal procedures could take place.
• Any House members who feel they are unfairly being asked to leave TLM House may appeal to the
Director. It should be emphasized, if possible, that any internal conflict should be resolved internally
and brought to the Director only as a last resort.

Disruptive Behavior vs. Behavioral Problems

The dictionary defines disruptive as to break or to break apart. Behavior, as the most general word, applies to our action in the presence of others. Problem is defined as a difficult matter to be settled or a question set forth for the solution or discussion.
• It seems the House Managers decides, based on the healthiness of the recovery in the House, what constitutes a behavioral problem and what is disruptive.
• A behavioral problem connected to the process of recovery can be as small as a result of an incomplete chore or as significant as isolation. It also could be a personality conflict with another member, an unhealthy relationship “inside or outside the House” and any other part of our old behavior.
• Change is a vital part of a healthy recovery. Change does not imply the other individual, but you. Each of us is at our own level of growth and acceptance – “live and let live.” Shifting the focus on someone else’s behavior leaves everyone void of honesty about ourselves. If you take the “me: out of blame all you have is, “bla, bla, bla.” The only inventory you should be concerned with is your own.
• TLM is intended to act as a surrogate family and a support system. It is neither a treatment program nor a dictatorial entity. It does not mean that someone is not an important part of the family, if for some reason their behavior does not coincide with yours. TLM should be a safe haven. We must always put principles before personalities. The Welfare of the entire House and the principles should come first.
• Many of us choose to use a recovery program. This teaches us that service to other alcoholics and
addicts is a vital part of our own recovery. What greater opportunity would we have than helping a
roommate explore solutions to their behavioral problem? We have seen many individuals turn their
lives around while living in the TLM House.



Suggested Guidelines for Behavioral Modification

• Many houses use a contract, revocation of certain privileges, or probation when someone displays
repeated behaviors that could be construed as disruptive to the house.
o An example of revoking special privileges might occur when someone who doesn’t clean up after
themselves in the laundry area would be required to complete additional chores for two weeks.
They would be required to complete additional chores for two weeks. A contract may be used after
warnings or previous discussion about a certain behavior that is disturbing the unity of the
House or is putting the individual in jeopardy of relapse.

Disruptive Behavior Defined

Disruption is inherent in all group living situations. However, certain behaviors may be considered disruptive
by TLM.
• When behavior is counterproductive to the prime objective in a clean, safe, sober, and supportive
o Being dishonest to the House, not familiarizing yourself with the guidelines

o Not putting overnight number on the board and on the overnight sheet

o Having same guest over every day, not mindful of your roommate(s)

o Driving without a valid license or insurance

• When behavior causes undue negative attention to the House.

o Bad mouthing the House and/or any member

o Guests being disruptive to the House
(phone calls and/or fighting outside the House)

• When behavior causes undue negative attention to the resident. This includes guests displaying
negative behavior (including children)

• When behavior causes undue negative attention to TLM.

o Stealing or fighting on the job o Cursing on the answering machine

o Rumors of alcohol or drug use

o Acquiring a new legal or court case

• When behavior causes the House not to meet financial obligations.

o Not paying rent on time

o Stealing

o Ordering movies on cable and not paying for them
or not owning up to ordering them

o Borrowing money and not paying back when stated

o Taking things that don’t belong to
you o Being behind on rent and taking on new payments (i.e., new cell phone, new car,

o Cursing excessively

o Blaming everyone else. Not taking responsibility for your own actions or using other
residents for a deflection of your own actions

If a resident’s behavior is the subject of a discussion at a House meeting, the behavior can/will be
considered disruptive. The degree of disruption and the necessary consequences and corrective
measures are handled on a case-by-case basis.




• There are two basic types of contracts the House uses:
o Disruptive Contract – See Disruptive Behavior Guidelines and/o
o Financial Contract – it is up to the discretion of the Director to use this type of contract based
on payment history. If in the history, a member is behind constantly, this financial contract can
be used. See promissory note in Late Payment Procedures.

Rule Violation Procedure

Each rule violation will be recorded and addressed individually. Consequences will increase based on the frequency and severity of the behavior. Consequences include but are not limited to the following:
• Verbal warning
• Verbally warning with behavior modification
• Written warning with behavior modification (i.e., contract)
• Eviction from the House

Directors and managers will determine the behavior modification for each violation on an individual basis.
• Some examples for behavior modification would be:
• Denial of overnight passes
• Early curfew
• Additional chores

The contract must be specific and account for the members working schedule.

• The Business Meeting is a House meeting held on Sundays at 1:30 pm. The meeting is mandatory unless you are working.
• A Special Meeting may be called if there is a conflict in the house that does not need to be resolved immediately. Typically, these meetings a 24-hour notice will be given to all members.
• An Emergency Meeting may be called if there is a conflict in the House that must be resolved at once. An example would include, but is not limited to, possible violence against another House member or a relapse. If any member is not present, they are to come to the House immediately. If you are in the House at the time of the meeting you must attend the meeting.
It is asked that all members of the House give full participation at these meetings. This is not a one- or two-man house. The House needs everybody’s input. The members were asked at their intake interview, “What can you offer TLM?” There is no better time to show it than at the House meetings. The House isn’t just about its current members, it’s also about the House’s future members. We all came in as willing participants, so please do your part and treat
the House and the democratic process with respect.



If you keep a vehicle at one of the residences you must:

Have a valid driver's license and insurance policy on file with TLM. These documents will be kept in your Onestep file.

House managers should not drive any vehicle while doing TLM business other than TLM vans, their own personal vehicle, or, in rare circumstances, the vehicles of other residents who have insurance on file. 


Program Fees are $200 per week, paid in advance. Entrance Fee is $300  and will include the first 2 weeks of program fees. If a resident gets behind 4 weeks of fees and does not have work that will support getting caught up with fees in a reasonable amount of time they are automatically expelled from the program. ("reasonable" is defined at the director's discretion.) 


I have read and understand the house rules as explained in this document.



Client first name Client last name  Today's Date Date