House Rules

Table of Contents
Transformational Living Ministries (TLM).......................................................................................................................2
House Rules.............................................................................................................................................................2
Rules and Guidelines – Core Rules...............................................................................................................................3
Additional House Rules...............................................................................................................................................4
Confidentiality...........................................................................................................................................................4
Drug Testing.............................................................................................................................................................5
Curfew ....................................................................................................................................................................5
Locks ......................................................................................................................................................................6
Food .......................................................................................................................................................................6
Valuables..................................................................................................................................................................6
Personal Belongings ..................................................................................................................................................6
House Telephone Guidelines........................................................................................................................................6
Dress Code & Hygiene Guidelines ................................................................................................................................7
House Chores ...........................................................................................................................................................7
Bedroom Responsibilities............................................................................................................................................7
Bathroom Area Responsibilities....................................................................................................................................7
Laundry Room Responsibilities.....................................................................................................................................7
Kitchen Responsibilities ..............................................................................................................................................8
Disruptive Behavior Guidelines.....................................................................................................................................8
Suggested Guidelines for Expulsion ..............................................................................................................................8
Disruptive Behavior vs. Behavioral Problems ..................................................................................................................9
Suggested Guidelines for Behavioral Modification ...........................................................................................................9
Disruptive Behavior Defined........................................................................................................................................10
Contracts..................................................................................................................................................................11
Rule Violation Procedure.............................................................................................................................................11
Weekly and Sobriety Residence Fee for TLM ..................................................................................................................11
Late Payment Procedures............................................................................................................................................11
There are three (3) types of meetings at TLM: ..............................................................................................................12
Business Meeting Agenda............................................................................................................................................12

Transformational Living Ministries (TLM)
House Rules
This booklet explains the rules and expectations for residents while living at the TLM House. TLM is a
Christ centered sober living environment that is intended to be a step on the path to independent
living and recovery. TLM is a halfway house for those serious about recovery.
The first 2 weeks a resident is on contract as a new resident. During this time, they are on probation.
They are only allowed to leave the house for: 12 step meetings, looking for work (or working) and
church. They must find a sponsor within this 2-week period if they do not have one. To get off contract
they must have a sponsor and have steady work. If either of these conditions are not met, they will
stay on new resident contract until they are fulfilled.
New residents are not eligible for passes until they have been in the house for 30 days and not on
contract. After they become eligible, they are allowed one 48 hour and one 24 hour pass each
calendar month.

 

 

Rules and Guidelines – Core Rules
These Rules are critical to the functioning of our House.
Those who cannot follow these rules cannot stay in the house and will have to leave.
• No weapons of any kind are allowed on the property. No guns, knives or any other weapons are
permitted.
• No alcohol/drugs – Grounds for immediate eviction from the House
• No violence or threats
• No stealing
• No outsiders in the House w/o group approval (make it known when there is company in the house).
• No gambling
• No pornography
• No gang activity
• Follow curfew
• Respect one another/be mindful of your roommates
• No smoking or tobacco products in the House (smoke in designated areas only)
• No isolation (being in room excessively w/o sickness)
• No staying away from the House excessively (using the House as a place where you just lay your head
and hold your personal belongings.) No excessive absence from the house.
• Residents are encouraged to not have relationships with females in the first year of sobriety. However,
if this suggestion is not followed, they are not allowed to see their female companions more than twice
per week. This is to ensure the integrity of the house and the need to focus on recovery.
• Confidentiality is a MUST. Do not discuss the House with the neighbors.
• One man one vote (no big “I” and little “U”).
• If you have another source of income (i.e., SSI), you MUST do service work, community service
throughout the week. You cannot hang out at the House all day, every day. This is about changing
behavior.

 

Additional House Rules
These rules apply to everyone and must be followed by all house members. Failure to do so can and
will result in a disruptive contract or eviction:
• Pay program fee on time.
• Attend required House meetings (i.e., business, emergency and weekly business meetings all defined
in Section 27).
• Attend at least two (2) Outside 12 step meetings a week. AA/NA/CR o Inhouse meetings do not count.
(Five if on newcomer contract). Resident MUST CHECK IN ON ONESTEP APP.
o KEEP TRACK OF YOUR MEETINGS on a meeting sheet if you don't have a phone.
• Obtain a sponsor in 14 days (sponsor may not be a current TLM resident).
• Maintain your personal hygiene and personal space.
• No candles or incense in the House.
• Shower daily. Wash sheets weekly.
• Notify House members regarding any medications you are taking. (You are responsible for the safe
keeping of your medications).
• No pets of any kind.
• Complete House chores daily by 10:00 am if you are not working or on the morning chore. Otherwise,
it must be done by 10:00 pm (The only exception is on holidays, when chores can be done the following
day).
• No new member will be accepted if they are prescribed narcotics (i.e. suboxone, methadone, Vicodin,
etc.).
• All residents will attend at least 2 scheduled service events per month, if more are scheduled residents
will give a week’s notice if they cannot attend. “Testimony” events are mandatory. Any exceptions must
be approved by the Director.
Confidentiality
Under no circumstances shall any information regarding a resident or past resident be given out over the
phone or outside of the house. The only reason information would be given out is because the resident
past/present gave approval. Confidentiality of other residents is of primary importance – consider others.

Drug Testing
Everyone in the House will be subject to drug testing/breathalyzers on request. These tests will be random
or if drug/alcohol is suspected by the other House members. Failure to give a test within thirty minutes of
a request, will result in immediate discharge from the House.
When asked to take a test, the member must stay in the presence of a House member. Bringing alcohol or
drugs in the House will result in immediate eviction.
In the event of a relapse and the definition of relapse can come in different forms – the easiest one to deal
with is the “for sure” relapse when a member comes in the House obviously intoxicated or high on drugs and
admits relapse. At that point there is no denial to deal with, the other members have the time to concentrate
on getting help for this resident. However, there are more difficult types of relapses. Many relapses can only
be discerned by looking at the behavior change: late payment of rent, lapse in doing chores, argumentative
or isolating behaviors. These are all warning signs of a relapse. Remember to keep principles above
personalities and think with your head and not your heart.
Another form of relapse is misusing prescription or over the counter drugs. Over the counter or prescription
drugs must be taken according to the directions and residents who are using prescriptions must inform the
doctor of their addict status.
Another form of relapse is when a member is using, and others know about it and do not blow the whistle. In
these cases, all who are using and all who knew about it are considered a relapse.
Curfew
Residents must be in the House and accounted for no later than these times, except for verified employment.
If you work past curfew, you MUST report in after your shift is completed. While on contract, curfew is 10:00
pm Monday through Sunday. Curfew for members off Contract are Sunday through
Thursday 10:00 pm and Friday and Saturday. 11:00 pm. In the House means, “in the House,” not in the
driveway, not outside the door running through it.

TLM Curfew
             On Contract                                      Off Contract
Sunday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                     10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Monday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                     10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Tuesday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                    10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Wednesday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM               10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Thursday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                  10:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Friday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                       11:00 PM – 6:00 AM
Saturday 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM                   11:00 PM – 6:00 AM

Locks
It is against House policy to have a separate lock on your room. No resident is allowed in another resident’s
room without that resident’s permission. If a resident must go into another resident’s room for House
business, he must be accompanied by another House member.
Food
TLM will provide basic essential for meals. Each person is responsible for their own food if you would like to
purchase extra. You will be given space to store your supply of food, and you can use the common refrigerator
and freezer. Disputes over food should be brought to the director’s attention. Please be respectful of other’s
food. Don’t eat what isn’t yours, it is considered stealing, and it is disruptive.
Valuables
You are responsible for any valuables brought into the house. Concerns over lost or stolen property should
be brought immediately to the House (manager).
Personal Belongings
You have limited space, so please keep your personal belongings to a minimum. Clothing and personal items
that do not fit in your room may be kept downstairs and/or sent home. Be mindful of your roommates, they
also pay rent. Do not turn your shared bedroom into a one-man studio. Each resident gets equal amount of
room while sharing a bedroom.
You do not have the right to go through boxes or other containers that are stored in the garage or
basement of the House unless a group decision is made to sort and donate items left at the House by
previous tenants.
House Telephone Guidelines
Only house residents can answer the phone. Please be polite when answering the phone. Answer with a
simple, “Hello.” DO NOT identify this as a recovery home. If the caller requests information on the house,
ask them why they need the information. Only applicants need to know who we are. Take a message if
someone is asking questions and give the name and number to the director on the next business day.
Messages are to be noted immediately and legibly on the dry board. Never offer information about another
resident unless authorized to do so by said resident. If a call is received for a former resident only

information that resident has authorized may be given out. Simply saying that the resident no longer lives
here should be enough in most cases.
The house number should only be given to prospective applicants. Only give the location of the house to
perspective applicants. REMEMBER, WE ARE A RECOVERY HOME NOT A RENTAL UNIT.
Dress Code & Hygiene Guidelines
• Shirts with drugs, alcohol, bars, criminals, or other demeaning slogans are not to be worn at any time.
• As a matter of health and safety, residents must always wear foot protection while on the premises.
• Personal Hygiene is always expected. That means shower daily.
• Sheets are to be washed weekly.
House Chores
Chores for each house member will include clean-up, garbage removal, cleaning of floors, bathrooms,
kitchen, laundry room and other areas as designated by the director. When interviewed, you were asked if
you have a problem doing chores? Chores are assigned to individuals and are to be done by that individual
member of the House. Occasionally, there are times when another individual can do the chore of another
individual (Remember that “Occasionally” does not mean: every chore day, every other chore day or every
other week). It is about changing behavior and not staying the same.
Bedroom Responsibilities
• Beds must be made, and rooms must be cleaned before leaving the House.
• No smoking is allowed in the bedroom at any time.
• Never hang towels or clothing from lamps or light fixtures.
• Never use tacks or nails on the walls.
• Radios are to be listened to at a reasonable volume.
• Turn off lights, radios and/or TVs when leaving the room.
Bathroom Area Responsibilities
• All bathroom areas, sinks, counter tops and toilets must be cleaned immediately after each use.
• Paper towels are not to be disposed of in the toilet.
• Use daily SHOWER CLEANER after each shower and rinse down shower after each shower. Be
mindful of your roommates.
• Clean up after showering. Do not leave towels, clothes, or toiletries in the bathroom after each use.
Laundry Room Responsibilities
• Clothing must be removed from washers and dryers immediately after each use.
• Lint traps are to be cleaned after each use to avoid a potential hazard.
• Washers and dryers need to be wiped down after each use.
• Ironing boards and irons must be returned to its storage space after each use.

Kitchen Responsibilities
• Dishes are to be WASHED, DRIED AND PUT AWAY AFTER EACH USE. Do not leave your dishes to
hang out in the sink or on the counter tops.
• Wipe down sink, stove, and countertop after each use.
• All resident’s food must be stored in their designated space.
• Do a check of YOUR space weekly and discard any food that is no longer able to be used. If canned
foods are not to be used by a resident, food can be donated to the House pantry.
Disruptive Behavior Guidelines
It is the mission of TLM to ensure a “safe haven” for recovery. The primary source for ensuring a
safe haven for recovery is by enforcing the importance of living up TLM principles. Suggested
guidelines for expulsion and disruptive behavior
In keeping with the TLM tradition, the House and its members acknowledge that the following acts are grounds
for immediate expulsion:
• A relapse into the use of alcohol or drugs
• Failure to pay any fees owed to the House
• The exhibition of disruptive behavior
• Violation of other house rules listed in this document
For the purpose of General Rules of Expulsion, the following definition of disruptive behavior is used:
• ANY negative behavior inside or outside the House in addition to violence or threat of violence or
destruction of property.
Exhibition of any part of the above definition of disruptive behavior by House members should, without
question, result in immediate expulsion.
General Rules of Expulsion
Any negative behavior inside the House
Any negative behavior outside the House
Violence
Threat of violence
Destruction of property
Suggested Guidelines for Expulsion
• Members who relapse or refuse to pay program fees or are guilty of disruptive behavior, must be
expelled as quickly as the House deems appropriate by the Director. In the case of behavioral problems,
The House institutes systems of warnings, probations, or disruptive contracts.

• If there are repeated behavioral offenses and the House, by democratic vote, deems the behavioral
acts of the member to be detrimental to recovery in TLM tradition, then dismissal procedures could take
place.
• Any House members who feel they are unfairly being asked to leave TLM House may appeal to the
Director. It should be emphasized, if possible, that any internal conflict should be resolved internally
and brought to the House representative only as a last resort.
Disruptive Behavior vs. Behavioral Problems
The dictionary defines disruptive as to break or to break apart. Behavior, as the most general word, applies
to our action in the presence of others. Problem is defined as a difficult matter to be settled or a question set
forth for the solution or discussion.
• It seems the House decides, based on the healthiness of the recovery in the House, what constitutes
a behavioral problem and what is disruptive.
• A behavioral problem connected to the process of recovery can be as small as a result of an incomplete
chore or as significant as isolation. It also could be a personality conflict with another member, an
unhealthy relationship “inside or outside the House” and any other part of our old behavior.
• Change is a vital part of a healthy recovery. Change does not imply the other individual, but you. Each
of us is at our own level of growth and acceptance – “live and let live.” Shifting the focus on someone
else’s behavior leaves everyone void of honesty about ourselves. If you take the “me: out of blame all
you have is, “bla, bla, bla.” The only inventory you should be concerned with is your own.
• TLM is intended to act as a surrogate family and a support system. It is neither a treatment program
nor a dictatorial entity. We have no bosses in the TLM house. It does not mean that someone is not
an important part of the family, if for some reason their behavior does not coincide with yours. TLM
should be a safe haven. We must always put principles before personalities. The Welfare of the entire
House and the principles should come first.
• Many of us choose to use a 12 Step program. This teaches us that service to other alcoholics and
addicts is a vital part of our own recovery. What greater opportunity would we have than helping a
roommate explore solutions to their behavioral problem? We have seen many individuals turn their
lives around while living in the TLM House.
Suggested Guidelines for Behavioral Modification
• Many houses use a contract, revocation of certain privileges, or probation when someone displays
repeated behaviors that could be construed as disruptive to the house.
o An example of revoking special privileges might occur when someone who doesn’t clean up after
themselves in the laundry area would be required to complete additional chores for two weeks.
Another example would be if someone is caught smoking in the house in their bedroom. They
would be required to complete additional chores for two weeks. A contract may be used after
warnings or previous discussion about a certain behavior that is disturbing the unity of the
House or is putting the individual in jeopardy of relapse.

Disruptive Behavior Defined
Disruption is inherent in all group living situations. However, certain behaviors may be considered disruptive
by TLM.
• When behavior is counterproductive to the prime objective in a clean, safe, sober, and supportive
environment:
o Being dishonest to the House, not familiarizing yourself with the guidelines o Not putting
overnight number on the board and on the overnight sheet o Having same guest over
every day, not mindful of your roommate(s) o Driving without a valid license or insurance
• When behavior causes undue negative attention to the House:
o Bad mouthing the House and/or any member o Guests being disruptive to the House
(phone calls and/or fighting outside the House)
• When behavior causes undue negative attention to the resident. This includes guests displaying
negative behavior (including children)
• When behavior causes undue negative attention to TLM:
o Stealing or fighting on the job o Cursing on the answering machine o Rumors of alcohol
or drug use o Acquiring a new legal or court case
• When behavior causes the House not to meet financial obligations:
o Not paying rent on time o Stealing o Ordering movies on cable and not paying for them
or not owning up to ordering them
• When behavior causes the House resident not to meet financial obligations:
o Borrowing money and not paying back when stated o Taking things that don’t belong to
you o Being behind on rent and taking on new payments (i.e., new cell phone, new car,
etc.)
• When behavior disrupts the democratic environment:
o Refusing to vote. All must vote (there are no bad guys here) o Cursing excessively
o Blaming everyone else. Not taking responsibility for your own actions or using other
residents for a deflection of your own actions
o When you are elected to an office, and you continually neglect your report and duties or
just don’t even do it o Allowing others to influence your vote (remember one man, one
vote).
If a resident’s behavior is the subject of a discussion at a House meeting, the behavior can/will be
considered disruptive. The degree of disruption and the necessary consequences and corrective
measures are handled on a case-by-case basis.

Contracts
• There are three basic types of contracts the House uses:
o Newcomer Contract – This contract is used for newcomers to adjust to their new environment.
Typically, this contract will consist of:
 Five (5) AA/NA/CR meetings a week.
 10:00 pm curfew Monday through Sunday.
 Guest curfew is 10:00 pm Sunday- Thursday. 11:00 pm Friday and Saturday with no
overnights.
 Chores are done by 10:00 am or 10:00 pm daily depending on chore detail.
 Must obtain a sponsor within 14 days of Move-in.
 Job Search 8:00 am -12pm Monday through Friday.
o Disruptive Contract – See Disruptive Behavior Guidelines and/o
o Financial Contract – it is up to the discretion of the House to use this type of contract based
on payment history. If in the history, a member is behind constantly, this financial contract can
be used. See promissory note in Late Payment Procedures.
Rule Violation Procedure
Each rule violation will be recorded and addressed individually. Consequences will increase based on the frequency
and severity of the behavior. Consequences include but are not limited to the following:
• Verbal warning
• Verbally warning with behavior modification
• Written warning with behavior modification (i.e., contract)
• Eviction from the House
House members will determine the behavior modification for each violation on an individual basis.
• Some examples for behavior modification would be:
• Denial of overnights
• Early curfew
• Additional chores
Weekly and Sobriety Residence Fee for TLM
The first 2 weeks of fees is $300.00 this is at a reduced rate to help residents get established.
Late Payment Procedures
Fees are payable weekly in advance (Sunday for the following Monday through Saturday). Failure to pay fees
promptly is grounds for eviction.
• If a member is two (2) credit weeks late, then there is a motion to evict. If not evicted, then
impose contract until dues are paid.
• A member under contract must show most current proof of income and un- deferrable expenses
at the business meeting and may be required to pay up to 80% of net income until fees are
paid.

The contract must be specific and account for the members working schedule.
• If a member is more than two (2) credit weeks behind, then a promissory note, with date of
payment, must be obtained. This is subject to a majority approval by House vote. A promissory
note can be used for two (2) or four (4) weeks. It is up to the discretion of the House, and it is
also based on the members pay period.
• Voluntary move out is when a current member gives two (2) weeks notices at a business
meeting that the member will be moving out successfully. The member will place the date of
notice and the move out date on the board and can only rescind the voluntary move out within
one week.
• ***If a member is behind in their program fees, they are to be put on a contract that lays out a
plan to get caught up. If they do not comply with the contract, they are on restriction until they
return to a state of compliance. For example: if they are on contract to make up their entrance
fee and they fail to make a payment when it is due. This is up to the discretion of the Director
as there are circumstances that may require exceptions. (illness, family hardship, etc.)
There are three (3) types of meetings at TLM:
• The Business Meeting is a House meeting held on Sundays at 3:00 pm. The meeting is mandatory unless you
are working.
• A Special Meeting may be called if there is a conflict in the house that does not need to be resolved
immediately. Typically, these meetings a 24-hour notice will be given to all members.
• An Emergency Meeting may be called if there is a conflict in the House that must be resolved at once. An
example would include, but is not limited to, possible violence against another House member or a relapse. If
any member is not present, they are to come to the House immediately. If you are in the House at the time of
the meeting you must attend the meeting.
It is asked that all members of the House give full participation at these meetings. This is not a one- or two-man
house. The House needs everybody’s input. The members were asked at their intake interview, “What can you offer
TLM?” There is no better time to show it than at the House meetings. The House isn’t just about its current members,
it’s also about the House’s future members. We all came in as willing participants, so please do your part and treat
the House and the democratic process with respect.
Business Meeting Agenda
TLM business meeting agenda is based on suggestions and adapted for our purposes. Democracy takes time.
Meetings can last an hour or two. It is best to accept this fact and proceed efficiently and expediently as possible
by placing principles before personalities and using “I” statements and respecting others by not cross talking as
well as follow simple rules. TLM business meetings proceed along the lines of the following format:
• Shut off all cell phones and turn the House phone down to silent • Short quiet time
followed by the Serenity Prayer
• Building maintenance report: o General repair and upkeep are discussed at this time.
o Any business related to the office of building is often handled at this time.
It is the responsibility of the house manager to train the newly elected member on how to efficiently fulfill the
House officer duties. The new officer is to set time aside with the current officer to understand and learn duties
and responsibilities of the office, except in the voluntary move out procedures.

 Vehicles

If you keep a vehicle at one of the residences you must:

Have a valid driver's license and insurance policy on file with TLM. These documents will be kept in your Onestep file.

House managers should not drive any vehicle while doing TLM business other than TLM vans, their own personal vehicle, or, in rare circumstances, the vehicles of other residents who have insurance on file.